Advantages & disadvantages — Parents working abroad and taking their families with them

It has become common for people who take a job overseas to bring their partner and children with them rather than leaving them at home. In my view the benefits of this arrangement for the family generally outweigh the drawbacks, although much depends on how often the family moves.

The most obvious advantage is that the family stays together. The alternative — one parent working abroad alone for years — strains relationships and leaves children effectively raised by a single parent. Moving as a unit also usually means a substantially higher income and a better standard of living than the family would have at home. For children, the experience can be transformative: they often become fluent in a second language, attend better-resourced schools and grow up regarding cultural difference as normal rather than threatening. These so-called third-culture kids tend to become noticeably adaptable adults.

Nevertheless, the costs of uprooting a household are real. Children lose their friends and may switch curriculum mid-course, which is particularly damaging in the years before major examinations. The accompanying partner, often described as the trailing spouse, may be barred from working under local visa rules and can find the isolation difficult to bear. Families also leave behind the support network of grandparents and relatives who would otherwise help in a crisis, and it takes considerable time to settle in to an unfamiliar system.

In conclusion, relocating together is usually better for a family than living apart, since both the income and the experience benefit everyone involved. Parents should nevertheless avoid frequent moves and, where possible, time them so that their children's schooling is not disrupted at a critical stage.